Scavenger Hunt~October (Photos!)

This is my first go at the Scavenger Hunt! Head on over to Postcards from the P.P to link up and/or view other bloggers and their fab photos!
I have to say I really struggled with some of this and I haven't managed to get all the photos, but thought i'd post anyway despite being a little disappointed.
So, in no particular order:

Crunchy Leaves. Taken on the walk to nursery

Witches hat/broom. 
My daughters hat forHalloween, not that she wore it!

Something eerie.
Graveyard at my local Church St.Martin&St.Meriadoc Camborne

This is Richard Trevithick, Cornwall's inventor and mining engineer famous
for the success of his high pressure steam engine. He also built the worlds first full-scale working railway steam locomotive.

Stack of chocolate coins.

Black Cat.
I know, he's black and white, but he's Pig Wig and I love him!

As you can see I didn't manage to get photos of a River, Graffiti (can't believe there was none in my town!) Mist/Fog or a Pumpkin! Fail on the pumpkin big time!

Happy Halloween!!


If I close my eyes during a peaceful moment I can instantly transport myself to my happy place. A place where I felt safe, happy, free and at peace with myself. I'm taken back to the wonderful, untouched beauty of the country side where I used to live.
I have always lived where there are trees that look as if they touch the sky, or where there are so many snuggled closely together sharing their branches, leaves and flowers. There were long, long winding roads, or sometimes straight ones that seemed to go on forever before you reached where you wanted to go. Sea in the distance, fresh crisp air, bugs and rabbits, foxes and birds were great photography opportunities whether they were crossing what must seem like a never ending path, perched on top a snowy gate or quickly hopping across a empty field briefly pausing to see the goings on before diving back to the sweet little young waiting down below the earth.
Yes I miss the county side.
I'm missing taking my daughter out to the local beach, hoping on the bikes where Other Half would pop her into a seat placed on to the back of his bike. We'd all take off either direction as we lived near two beaches: one with sand and one with pebbles! Both equally as fun! 
I miss leaving the house to walk the quiet lanes, or down to the woods where I could sit on the little wooden bridge thinking hard about my problems, my fears,my hopes. Solving things which caused me distress, day dreaming of the future with my family, or simply letting off steam after a row. I always came back fresh with new ideas, apologies or re newed energy...
Now I live in the town. I really dislike it.
I'm so very grateful for the house I live in, how I am so much closer to everything I need from essentials like school and food to the little extras like the local library or a nice children's play ground.
For me though, the country side WAS my play ground. Every single day! You can run so far, be so free, climb tress, hide behind masses of flowers,tall grass,see all kinds of different creatures. Nature really is the best play ground.
Some people will disagree with me, but boy racers, drunks,police tapping on your door asking if you 'saw anything between the hours of such and such', people blasting music from their car stereos gets more than a little annoying when you simply are not used to anymore than the noise your baby and toddler produces!
I also miss my sweet natured daughter. She changed the day we moved from all the fresh aired freedom. She doesn't get to just open the door and bolt into a big, bright green garden in the nude anymore! There simply aren't any fascinating bugs and creepy crawlies to spot crossing one side to the other. The best you get out here is a wasp or a bee, and even then you're lucky! 
Well, that's just how I feel and boy, does it feel good to get it out! Maybe now I can concentrate on finding little ways to bring the country side back to the girl!

The Gallery: Faces

Faces. I have this habit of 'people watching' and very interesting it is too watching the thinkers, the talkers, the throwing a tantrum children, teenagers, people completely lost in what is their inner world.
The faces I really love looking at are my families...As most people would also say. A warm smile from my daughter, a cheeky one from my son, a loving one from my partner....I could look at them all day. 

Below are the photos I am using for this weeks The Gallery. 
Lily's dreamy look, I always feel her eyes are telling me how much she loves me
This photo needs no words. It's not a nice look I admit, but capturing anger is  fascinating.
And is there a more peaceful thing than staring at the face of your beautiful, sleeping child?
 Finally a photo of myself and the Better Half of me. Two faces in pure love and happiness.... Almost exactly 3 years later, we still have the same loving, expression filled faces for one another.

Dear So and So....

Dear So and So,
I know who you are so it is not important no one else does. I know you're not ever going to see this but I feel the need to rant. I dislike you and I dislike the way you make me feel. What I really dislike however is stirring, blame and cowardice. You're a lying sack of you know what.
One Hacked off X Friend

Dear Cough
Sod off away from my toddler, she is not her usual self, she is not sleeping and she is waking her younger brother up so much she has now invaded MY space. I have been more than patient.
Pissed off Mummy

Dear Little Miss
Your new nursery photos are the sweetest thing I have ever seen, if I could afford to buy every single one I promise I would! The choice is going to be very hard, but you look wonderful!
Love Your very proud Mummy xxx

Dear Little Man
Stop growing!!! Please!!! I need to keep you tiny!!
Mumma xxx

Dear Other Half,
It is almost exactly a week until my birthday, you don't have to spoil me...Honest.

Dear Readers,
As usual thanks for reading this week! I hope my following list can grow it's a bit pathetic but for now, cheers.  Head on over to 3 Bedroom add your own 'Dear So and So...' post.

Life Circle Week 3: Goals

Life Circle

This weeks Life Circle post is about Goal Setting. Effectively this is something that we did in Week 2 but that was a lot more detailed and was also on different time lines. Week 3 Goal setting is more about now setting realistic achievable goals say, from now to a year.

1. I want to read up on the Open Uni course I found a few weeks ago and be registered before the summer 2012

2. I want to have paid the church wedding fees off by spring next year

3. I want to join a baby and toddler group with my son for some one and one time before Christmas

4. I want to be getting together with my family monthly for dinners during the next 6 months (as much as we can)

5. I want to be having regular physiotherapy after December

6. I will be on a lower dose of my medication in the New Year

7. Finally to get some exercise in preferably by the New Year at least 3 times a week.I want to be toned and a size 12

Pretty achievable

No.1 just needs me to click about a bit online and then breathe. 
No.2 just requires saving and instead of saving and feeling crap about putting it else where (how does that work?!) feeling good about the money going to us (although £400 is steep!)
No.3 That's also easy just need motivation 
No.5 is also easy if I don't cancel any more appointments because I'm too scared to go. I have an appt next Thursday and I AM going! 
No.6 I'm feeling pretty good about lowering my dose but I will see the current dose to the end before contacting my GP who is really supportive. 
Finally No.7 will be the hardest because I have sod all motivation when it comes to exercise and I will have to shuffle my whole routine (get my arse out of bed earlier in other words) to make me feel like doing it!

This Is Dedication:

I'm poorly yet still Blogging. I'm sure everyone does it but it makes me feel special so meh, I'll feel special!
As promised I wanted to share my finds from yesterdays little Charity shop hunt, so here we are:

A children's book for 30p another Xmas pressie
My 'nothing special' fruit bowl but it's nice!
I think this frame will look nice in my bathroom. Very 'Cornwall'
So here's the lovely tiger for Little Mans pressie
The Framed seaside picture is not a recent find but it's something I really like and thought I'd share. I got more Christmas shopping done today and excluding my dear Other Half we only have 4 people left to buy for and only one (my dear Pops) has left me completely stumped (and then there's presents to Daddy from Little Miss and Man...Ideas on a postcard please!)

Which reminds me. My parents went off to Devon last weekend and as I have mentioned before here I am an avid collector of postcards. My Mum very thoughtfully brought back a selection of postcards from her trip but this one stands out as my favourite and as such will be framed for my ever growing 'Cupcake Kitchen'

 Off now to feel sorry for myself. All the best.

Can't Wait To Try Out My New Recipe Book!

My Mother In Law To Be came up trumps today by turning up with this great Gluten Free cookbook, another great find from The Works store, I knew there was a reason I loved them so much! Now, if only they accepted Love 2 Shop Vouchers....

I'm pleased to say I have finally got back my baking bug! It scuttled off some while ago but since I started blogging and seeing all these fab meal plans, photos and how so many people are so adventurous with their cooking I finally feel like I want to cook and bake again. I find it very hard being on a restricted diet. Everyone has a nightmare remembering what you can and cannot eat, you have to always read the labels on your food which always makes uncomfortable in the store, not to mention  it's harder to get the knack of cooking without certain ingredients. I can't wait to get stuck in to this book and look forward to sharing the results!

Also today I managed some great finds in my local charity stores. I got a new fruit bowl, slightly smaller than my very 'out there' pink mixing bowl which will hold a nice big Christmas Truffle! Yummy. I picked up some baby vests as Little Man is growing fast and I hope to pick some more clothes up from a mum on my local Netmums site so another bargain there I would think. I got myself a light up door decoration for our Halloween party next week for 75p and a teddy for £1 which is in really good condition still with tags on so I plan to wrap this up for Little Man for Christmas- Never underestimate what people donate to charity, you can find some great items these days which are indeed perfect for an occasion of any kind. I have no care that people may find my 'odd' or 'stingy' they can go and buy the same or similar object for twice the amount if they so wish!

I also used some of my long awaited Love 2 Shop vouchers today that I had been saving up for since the beginning of the year with Park catalogue. I didn't like parting with them much but at least I can cross a fair few people off my list and I looked out for offers and bargains whilst trying not to compromise too much on quality for the person in mind!

Anyway, will upload my finds tomorrow, for now I look forward to planning my write up to Life Circle Part 3, Writing Workshop and also planning my post for The Gallery whilst struggling with The Scavenger Hunt!
Ta Ta!

The (almost) Good Wife

Just thought I'd share the delicious meal my Other Half has to look forward to this evening. He gets home so late from the factory that usually it's some sort of sandwich or toast for dinner which isn't all that great. We just seem to get so caught up in the nursery runs, baby feeding and cleaning the house routine that we honestly just forget to rustle up a good meal before he leaves for work at 4pm. The sooner he gets a bike so we can have family meals again the better!

Anyway, here's his surprise offering: Lovely Minced Beef as part of Tesco's price cut with garlic and carrot and some pasta (Tesco value no less! Haha)

P.S I'm 'almost' the good wife because i'm not actually the Good Mans wife until next summer eek exciting!

Waste Not Want Not...

Like my new bin? £1.99 cheapest bin I've ever bought. And I love it! I should mention my fab Dad bought it for me when I saw it in The Works. I don't know what it is about this new logo that has come out but it's been everywhere and lots of people love it including me. This is the first item I own and I want more!
It is a great bin as far as bins go! Enough about the bin already, yes indeed apologies!

I've been thinking of not wasting so much a lot recently. It's made me really aware of both my attitude and other peoples attitudes towards waste. I'm thinking food, rubbish,recycling and yes, even the pennies!
I used to be really picky about what I chose in the store, I guess it came from my Mum as that's who I always went grocery shopping with. Thing is what I grew up doing was not unlike most others. If something isn't the right shape, it's put back. If a tin is dented or a box ripped it's immediately pushed to the side and ignored as if whatever is inside has been somehow changed. I used to pick these items up and they'd be inspected for dents and what not. I'd be told to put it back on the shelf and get a 'better one.' Why?

Now I still see this except I decided to change. I mean, if these 'imperfect' items are not sold, where do they go? Well, I'd imagine in the waste direction no? So what if your cereal box is ripped, the plastic is still there, the cereal is still fresh. So what if your bean tin is dented, okay sometimes it's harder to open but I have a laugh acting like a right lemon dancing around the room with my tin of beans and a can opener in the air occasionally bashing the tin on the side...Ah and then there's the mishapped fruit and veg! Who doesn't find a carrot shaped like a mans 'special area' funny? (please don't be just me) fruit that has grown entwined, a vegetable with a nose or whatever else you can picture!
Image from Google
Image from Google

The other thing I'm keen to do is to record where my money goes. I know, I know, I should have been doing this ages ago. I want to do it more for curiosity than anything to be honest, and I bet I am still being really wasteful with my pennies. Everyone deserves a treat but I know for a FACT that last week I bought 3 jacket and beans from my local bakery for £2.25 a go. Madness! I have bought a huge tub this week of Heinz Beans that last 5 days which is doing me well and although it's Monday, I don't shop until Thursday so I've already been doing well. I think tomorrow I'll purchase a book I've had my eye on which has all the little extra details in a money section.

Also was very proud this morning to see I couldn't actually get out of my front door due to how much I recycled! Obviously this was pleasing because I feel having that much means I can feel like I'm making a real difference. It's just a shame on my street there's only a handful of us recycling. WHY!!?? It's so easy, the council give you free bags and boxes, you pop all your cardboard, glass,plastic and tins in the correct bag (which my 3 year old even understands!) and plonk it outside every fortnight! I really hope government can get more strict on this recycling issue, it really bothers me.
Anyway rant over!

Have a good Tuesday!

It always starts well...

Had a lovely day today visited my Sister and Brother-In-Law to Be's new home! Goodness knows they've waited long enough but it was certainly worth the wait as I must say I love the place! If there's one place that's gonna be full next summer it'll be that house!

The kids have so much play room it's insane. Little Miss took this occasion to really let herself go. They all ran around like toddlers possessed but at least they were entertaining themselves and I could almost fall asleep on the sofa with Little Man (if he was interested in sleep of course)

We definitely have another tooth ready to come through and it is driving me nuts! But I can only imagine how he feels, I would gladly take it all away though like most parents I would imagine.
Anyway, as I say it all started off well. We all woke up in a good mood, I managed to actually load AND turn on the washing machine before lunch so that is amazing in my book! I even cleaned the damn thing (In an Eco way too may I add!)
However, fast forward to 6pm and all hell broke loose in my cosy home (decided it may be small but it is in fact cosy, i thought I may hate it after seeing my ideal home! But i don't) both the children were screaming, crying,moaning,coughing and snotting at me and Other Half, very frustrating.

Now I'm upstairs, Little Man in his cot but Little Miss downstairs with Daddy on the sofa fast asleep waking up now and then to cough and whinge. It's a shame but I hope tomorrow me and Mr can snuggle up together and watch a film after our roast dinner, now he works late Fridays we have to find a replacement 'Date Night'.

Anyway, sure I'll post more pointless things tomorrow :)

Cupcake Mumx

Dear So and SO....

Dear Cold,
Sod off. You got me but that wasn't good enough for you was it? Oh no had to go for the toddler that now won't stop moaning and waking every hour because of the cough you gave her. Then you had to go after the baby who is now all stuffed up and feeling sorry for himself.
Pee off now please.
Miffed Off Mummy.

Dear Teddy,
Please stop disappearing. When 7pm comes it is Little Miss's bedtime and I'm feeling a little weary so if you could stop playing hide and seek around this time I think we could get on much better.
Cheers Ted,
Little Miss's Mum

Dear Toothy pegs,
You have still not come through and are causing both me, Little Man and Mr B a lot of trouble. Please hurry, thanks,
Impatient Mummy

Dear October,
Hurry up, it's nearly my birthday and I am excited. Then once you have gone I can I start Christmas shopping!
Not to sound pushy or anything,

Dear Park,
Thank you for my love 2 shop vouchers. I have saved all year for them and I do love to shop!!
Yours, Happy Shopper

Dear Readers,
Have a wonderful weekend what ever you plan to do.
Cupcake Mummax

My Collections:

I have stumbled upon a new meme which I am very pleased to get stuck into every fortnight. This meme is called The 'Writing Workshop' by Sleep Is For The Weak which looks a lot of fun.

I'm from a long line of collectors. My Gran collects crystals. She has all sorts dotted about the place and I find her home a very calming place to be. My Mother has collected teapots for as long as I can remember. In fact she has so many that now her teapots are the homes of some rather lovely flowers placed in her courtyard. I notice how she has placed them near the window so as to not feel she has banished them from her collections!
My Dad collects guitars. It started off with a couple of them in their cases, sat abandoned in the corner of his bedroom. One day a couple of years ago he decided to pick them up again and now he has a little row if guitars standing proudly on their stands waiting to be played...

I collect memories. I used to collect stamps, I collected thimbles many years ago but they went to the charity shop when I was 14. Then there are my diaries. I have tonnes of diaries from when I was 10 up till now. I love writing, and what is better than writing about my day, about getting out my thoughts, venting my anger and frustrations?

Something I have always done and will continue to do, especially for my children, are memory boxes. My box is a documents box I bought from W H Smiths at the beginning of the year. Before then it has been several shoe boxes and once I managed to cram everything into a tiny thing, I'm not sure I know how I did that looking at the picture I took tonight!
Little Miss's Box happens to be a very good size and already near the top and she's only 3 and a half! Her box had my artificial flowers in that I am using for my wedding.
Mr's box is a simple shoe box, nice and big as Other Half has size 13 feet!

My special box of memories

Little Man's Box

Little Miss's Memories

As you can see the children have their tiny baby suits which always make you gasp 'You couldn't have once fitted in that?' they have their Christening candles,tiny nappies and cards from their birth. The collection for both continue to grow.
My memory box has tickets from travels, receipts I have kept,photos of me when I was a child, my friends from school, letters my best friend and I exchanged between classes,art I drew,stamps I collected and much more. I love occasionally going through my memory box and  being instantly transported into my past just by reading a sentence or looking at a picture where you can remember exactly where you were when you drew it. It's a wonderful feeling.

These days I also collect postcards. I think they're great and pick one up when ever I go to a different place. Other people also buy me them. My mum came to mine the other week with 2 postcards. One was a lovely one from her recent trip to Devon to see her Brother. The other was one her work colleague had given her whilst away on her trip to Greece! How thoughtful.
A couple of favourites

Cupcake Mummax

Life Circle Week 2: Looking Forward

Week 2 of The Life Circle is all about looking at where we would like to be in 5 years time and counting backwards 2 years, 1 year and 6 months. This is part of the The Life Circle hosted at the Five F's blog.
I had to set it out like I have below as that is how I have worked everything out on paper and I found I just kept going back to this to make sure I was correct on my time frames and goals! I have also based my Looking Forward challenge on the Life Circle which has the 8 categories we looked at in the first task here.

5 YEARS - AGE 27- YEAR 2016
2 YEARS - AGE 24- YEAR 2013
1 YEAR   - AGE 23 -YEAR 2012
6 MONTHS - APRIL - 2012

Health- In 5 years I would like my body to be more like the temple it should be! Hopefully I would have been able to maintain a good body weight over these next few years and with that have a good exercise and meal routine.
It could also be a possibility to either be carrying or planning to have another little monkey to add the clan. But as my Little Man is only 10 months it is still to fresh in my mind for serious consideration!! I hope by this time in life I will have developed a good love for cooking all sorts of meals and treats. I hope to be free or almost free from anxiety and low confidence.

Finance-In 5 years both the children will be in school with Little Miss in primary (!) and Little Man in the nursery school (!!) so i suppose I see myself in a part time job earning some extra money and fighting the boredom of being a stay at home mum (not that I find it boring but we looking to the future here with the house empty most of the day). I also hope Little Miss can be attending school clubs and outside clubs without us having to scrimp and save for those extra activities. 
I hope to have a regular savings account set up before 5 years but at this time for it to be looking pretty good for holidays and future funds. 

Environment-Hopefully in 5 years we will have a bigger house (3 bed) whether we have a 3rd child or not as we are bound to in the future! The ideal house is a 3 bed with a bigger lounge and kitchen, a bigger garden with a lawn and not bark! If we do happen to be here still that's fine as long as the neighbours stay nice and the street stays about the same (it'll never be quiet after all) then at least we can turn our house into a really nice place if we're luckily enough to be long term renting.

Career-I hope to be a fully qualified massage therapist possibly at a higher level needed in 5 years and qualified perhaps in some other subjects I could study at the Open University. I will also like to have a higher qualification in maths as I failed in my GCSEs. Maths scares the hell out of me but It's important for my children so I can help them. I would also like to be a volunteer. Guide to Career Education is a good source in finding schools and classes for your chosen career so I shall have a good look at this.

Fun-I hope we could have been on at least one family holiday together by this time. I also hope the children to be in clubs, me helping out with them and and at school. I hope to have established me time and by good money management to have pennies for half term trips and summer holiday fun.

Personal Development-If I can achieve even half of this then it is a massive achievement in itself. I hope to not be bothered by other peoples thoughts, opinions or looks. I aim to be more sociable and have developed good money managing skills.

Family and Friends-My goal is to see family on a regular basis and my Dads family every year as a holiday as they live furthest away. I hope to still be in touch with my penfriends and maybe even meet them by this time. I aim to have new friends and not look back anymore at being let down in the past. 

Love-I hope to still be freshly and happily married to my wonderful partner. I hope we stay a close and loving couple talking together on a regular basis, having date nights as both children will be older. 
In 3 years I will be 24 and I hope to have the exercise and meal routine I mentioned above in place. I hope that I will not be or have been pregnant just at this time but that I have introduced a healthy way of living into my family home. I hope that i love cooking and baking and maybe even own a dog as way of getting more active as the children will be older.

I hope Little Miss is in school/out of school groups and that I have some qualifications under my belt should I wish to seek work to boost our financial situation. I hope we have a regular savings account coming on nicely and the children also have a savings account and receive pocket money.

I would imagine that this house would still be our home if we're lucky to rent so long privately but that we have done it up nicely and it feels like home at the same time keeping our options open and saving for future decisions. I hope to make use of my local environment (libraries, parks,walks,history and to do things locally).

I hope I am qualified in 3 years to do body massage and if i am not then to be studying it (preferably at the end of studying) and possibly have a part time job although I am not entirely sure as Little Man will only be in nursery.
For fun I hope I am more relaxed and making use of family time. I hope i can get to grips with some real hobbies of my own and make use of local facilities for half terms and holidays.

I aim to be seeing my family regularly organised and arranged and already be seeing my Dads side at least yearly. I aim to make more effort with friends, attending more groups to meet new peolpe and organise meet ups for days and/or evenings.

In 3 years I will be married 2 years so still happily newlywed I hope. I hope we are still very much in love, appreciating each other and having 'Date Nights'.

Finally, I hope following groups with the children and taking part in school activities will boost my confidence. I hope to have mastered my anxiety and confidence issues but if not consider returning for CBT. I hope that I can do my maths qualification as this actually means a lot to my personal development.
In One Years time it will obviously be October 2012. I hope health wise I have adapted the meal and exercise routine that I mention in the future years and will mention again at 6 months as this is something to start asap. I hope by next year to be a bit more toned and to cook more home meals, be less stressed and less anxious.

I think financially we will be in the same comfortable place we are now (hopefully). I want to be a this point having more self control over money, distinguishing between 'want' and 'need'. I want the children to have a regular savings account and ourselves which could be hard after a wedding. At least have one opened. I also hope Little Miss is in Rainbows with no financial worries on our part so she can get out and enjoy.

Unless otherwise we should still be in our current home and probably still making it perfect (as perfect as rentals can be). I would like to aim for a mass re-decoration next summer re painting and re doing the garden to create a lawn and play items for the children. Perhaps I could find a way of escaping the town at least monthly to get some respite.

I don't think I'll be working but possibly aim to be volunteering as Little Man will only be 1 so I will still be a stay at home mummy. Hopefully my partner will still be doing well in work and I can be studying various subjects of interest with the O.U and re taking my maths GCSE. An OU course I have been eyeing starts this time next year.

My goal is by this time next year we will go out more, explore our local areas signing up at various places (Net Mums, National Trust etc) to find out fun goings on locally. I aim to have done Race For Life in July 2012 with a bit more effort and fun involved and get others joining in too. I also want a hobby I enjoy and have fun doing giving me the 'me time' I really need.

I hope I have seen closer family at least once a month and to set up monthly roast dinners at mine with my parents. I love hosting dinners. I want to be writing to family who live further away, perhaps my cousin. Reception starts for Little Miss and Rainbows (hopefully) so maybe I will meet new people through these events. I want to see more of friends, at least once a month.

We would have been 2 months newly married and I hope our relationship is blossoming and happy. I aim to be planning our honeymoon as a family affair for the following year, perhaps in the summer holidays.

Getting married will be a huge milestone in my personal development confidence wise. If i still find my anxiety a problem in a year I will re think counselling. Studying will give me a sense of achievement. I hope to be off my antidepressants in a year of possible.

Finally, (sorry it's so long I hope I'm not the only one) in 6 months it will be April 2012. I aim to be eating from a monthly/weekly meal planner and be exercising 3 times a week. Twice at home and once more strenuous like Pilate's/yoga or swimming. I would think I would still be on antidepressants but on a lower dose and after a year off them completely.

I want to have a book solely for budgeting, keep track of all my Direct Debits and Standing Orders, withdraw money for cash bills and then withdraw left over money with a bit to spare in my account 'just in case'. We will most likely be in the same position, maybe a tad under because of a wedding in 2 months time!!

We should still be living here but hopefully making the house nicer room by room. I would like a new fridge/freezer, that would make me feel better so there's an aim! I want to get out of the town monthly back to an old park I went to and did photography as a change of scenery.

I won't be working in 6 months but hopefully volunteering whilst Little Miss is in school in the mornings. Plus it will be good for my C.V. I hope I will be studying or ready to study my massage course.

I want to take Little Man to baby groups, introduce Little Miss to Rainbows when she turns 4. I want to have learnt a craft I enjoy. I want us to have a once a month family day out costing minimal/nothing/or a little (Seal Life Sanctuary, Paradise Park). I will be ready to take part in Race For Life in July 2012.

I don't see much change in the friends and family department in 6 months but I will make more effort to see some people at least monthly, I don't feel ready right now to make big changes to this category but hopefully I can let go of things that hold me back. I want family to step up and make more effort before I come to them over the next few months.

I will still be engaged and 2 months away from being married!! I bet there will be lots of posts about my budget wedding to endure! I want us to still be having 'Date Nights' and for my partner to be actively involved in the wedding planning.

And finally, at last, I want to be assertive so I get what I want for this wedding day as I usually let others take over. I hope to feel good about signing up for studying at the Open University and not pull out (for the 3rd time) because of a change of mind.

It is very long and I hope I'm not alone in the length but I just couldn't bullet point this post or keep it short and sweet. It felt right for me to explain each section in detail. Thanks for taking time to read this if you do! I think I have some great ideas spinning around in my head and feel positive about the future.

Cupcake Mummax

If Only There Was a Cleaning Fairy...

I don't want to look at my 'To Do' list anymore. I can't believe how long it is and it's rather depressing if i'm honest. Of course I'm not looking for sympathy, after all if I did the things that need doing when they needed doing i would not be in this spot of bother..

I just feel so tired and drained of energy today. Every room I look in needs something doing to it. It doesn't matter if it's as simple as picking up a trodden on pea off the floor in the kitchen or seeing some damp in my front room that needs attention, i feel the sense of giving up wash over me however small or not small the task ahead is.

Needless to say I have not done much today..I had a lay in which was nice, but then I had too much sleep and now feel worse as the day has gone on. I have eaten a whole bar of chocolate (yes a WHOLE bar don't judge me!), that just makes you feel like a fatty. I have wiped the table clean from weaning war at lunchtime and placed a baby seat in the wash...Then i realised after the wash had started the label on the chair specifically states 'HAND WASH ONLY' So i look forward to seeing what happens when the cycle finishes.

My oven, well i'm surprised it's still talking to me to be honest considering the state I have left it in. It's burnt within an inch of its life and yet I still don't want to clean it. I blame my mother because if she brought me up to care about the condition of an oven and a really good way of cleaning it (i now know just the shear thought of the effort makes me want to cry let alone actually doing it!) then I would be a regular Oven Cleaning Goddess. I would higher someone but my pride is getting in the way..stupid (oven) pride.

I have nothing else to say on this matter so I will go and put my energy into actually doing some useful I suppose like oh i dunno, cooking some tea, washing up the Mans pile of dirty dishes (it was his turn but he's left for work and I can no longer bare the site.) Then when the children are in bed, I think I will do my shopping list for tomorrow making sure Bicarbonate of Soda is at the top! Cleaning magic! (So i'm told of course) For now, have a nice evening.

Cupcake Mummax

The Gallery: Inspiring People

I racked my brains for the subject this week to be honest. I have many people in my life who have done great things, been through such hard times and yet come out of the other side. This more strengthens me then inspires me though to be honest so i didn't feel I could add them to The Gallery this week,

Eventually I took a little time to reflect on the person I used to be. Very shy, very withdrawn. I suffered anxiety and confidence issues for many years and it was only when I had my daughter that I had to actually do the things that terrified me. Simple things such as using a telephone would honest to God scare the hell out of me...but how were Child Tax Credits to know I had a child? How would I book an appointment to register my daughters birth? How would I arrange doctors appointments and all her injections she would need?

She is Happy honest, just wasn't too excited about that hat this morning!

I then faced Post Natal Depression which is crippling and effected our relationship a lot when she was a baby also leaving me panicking about the birth of my son 3 years later. But now all is well and I am a happy and healthy Mummy who loves her children lots. If I never had my daughter, I wouldn't have conquered a lot of my fears, no matter how silly to some.

And he was happy too, in Mummy's very overflowing laundry basket!

So here's to my children. My inspiration to face the things in life that scare me, to do well for them and myself and to have a good, rich life full of happiness. I love you both.

 I should also add that I would not be anywhere without my wonderful partner who is always reminding me of who I am :)

xCupcake Mummax

Head on over to The Gallery on Tara's' blog by clicking the Badge below to check out this weeks fab offerings x

Finally Found Some Peace

Today i finally found the one place where I can have something similar to the good old days of being in the country. I was actually wondering about my town with my camera in hand trying to find things to photo for The Scavenger Hunt meme I've just found in the world of bloggers, when I came to the local church graveyard. It was stupid that I hadn't realised this sooner as I have been attending the church for a couple of months.
It's a big graveyard so I can wonder right to the end where it's really quiet where you almost forget you're in the middle of a town. I wonder about and can even talk to myself for a little bit without anyone seeing! I used to talk to myself all the time walking up the country lanes figuring things out (but there was always a tourist lurking quietly behind me so I then felt totally humiliated!)

Thought I'd share a couple of snaps I got of this rather cute squirrel. I was disappointed that the first one is a bit blurred, I was testing out a new feature on my camera, turns out you need a super steady hand (which I do not have)
I've named him Marvin

Also today we had my nephew over which was lovely. It was nice for Little Miss to have a play mate over and even better that her play mate was family. Little Man loved seeing his cousin too and they all kept each other entertained. I spent a lot of time throwing myself against my sofa and being stunned by Harry Potter type spells (I was an evil witch) then I had to be an evil pirate and sit on a giant dog (it could fly) while they both stood in Little Mans cot getting away (it was a boat). I was very impressed by my nephews imagination and loved seeing how Little Miss just seemed to hang on his every word, following every instruction and order he gave from stunning me (cue me laying on the floor having random spasms which were evidently hilarious) to fighting giant spiders which fell on their faces.
I love children.

Now I am settling down to watch Shameless (shamelessly as I love this programme) but also getting up and down to attend Little Miss who is still full of cold and sensitive to every single thing today. Lets hope for a better night!

Cupcake Mummax

Mummy's' Bed

Little Miss has come down with a rather nasty cold. The title of this post would go some way in saying what the situation is. Yes after 3 hours she has done it;  Little Miss is in my bed so there will be no sleep for me tonight.We did make a bargain about Daddy coming home and then swapping back to her own bed but considering he doesn't arrive back until 1am I think I may have lost my sleep completely tonight. 
She is sitting beside me currently feeling very sorry for herself, not even able to grab her milk (she can she is just taking full advantage of Mummy Service) and sniffing whilst putting her finger up her nostril then immediately complaining about how sore her nose is. Tell me, when do toddlers fully grasp understanding? Anytime soon? Nope, thought as much.

Anyway, a part from us all feeling sorry for ourselves (Miss because of her cold and sore nose, Mr because he can't fully figure out just how to keep that darn banana in his grasp, Other Half because he has to go and slice bacon at work when he just well, doesn't much feel like it tonight and me because I'm left the first 2 and missing the last one) We generally had a good day.

I had an amazing lunch (okay it was jacket potato with beans) but it was from a tiny food shop in my local town and I have never had potato skin taste so damn good! It was just perfect. I didn't eat it as soon as I bought it because I added my own butter, some salt and salad leaves It cost me £2.25 which is pretty shocking as I know at home I can make one for less than that, but I felt good about supporting a small business and I couldn't bake one as nice as that. That's my defense anyway.

Another highlight of my day was spotting these super small apples on the ground when I walked Little Miss to nursery. I didn't have my camera as I have a tiny handbag so I just collected them up and then photographed them:

 Also today i started off my collection of Lego from The Sun Newspaper. I just fancied a paper this morning and happened to be wondering which one to buy when I picked up this one (only because I noticed today's give away happened to be Harry Potter) so I thought 'why not?'

Little Miss was impressed anyway (currently pointing at the laptop screen) I had fun popping it all together. I never played with Lego when I was a child and I don't really know why. I hope my 2 can get into it, and if The Sun Newspaper kicks start it then well, at least they have something.

Ooo Other Half just walked in the door (I love surprises!)

xCupcake Mummax