Struggling to Strike Out

Kate has returned with her fabulous link up Striking Mums which really does bring us Mums together despite our very different journeys and different needs of support. Although I didn't participate much last year because of well, I'm not actually sure why, but I hope to be more involved this year anyway.

As the title says I'm struggling. I have so very much to be thankful for and believe me I am thankful everyday, but at the moment I just can't pick myself up. I keep drifting off thinking about the person and parent I used to be and disliking the one I am today. I am always tired. I am lazy. I am selfish in that I prefer to do my things than do the things my children find fun. I hardly bake. I feel the pressure of my children growing and knowing soon they will be there in school and I will be all alone and need to fill my time but I am too anxious to volunteer or get a job. I am gaining weight so quick and have no motivation to lose it yet hate the feeling of carrying this bloated body around.

January has floored me to be honest. My daughters birthday was a lovely occasion, my husband's family breakfast on his birthday was lovely. Seeing some friends this month was nice and happy mail has kept me going but I have day after day after day of pain or discomfort for 3 weeks now since the dentist did work on one tooth. It grinds you down feeling like this. I feel totally unappreciated at home and I am so sick of the bloody school runs, the same roads, the same battles with the toddler, the same parents I am invisible to day in day out.

Usually when I write these posts I like to inspire others but this time I have nothing to give. I always bounce back from dark moments and this moment will be no exception. Sorry I'm not so striking this week xx

Kate on thin Ice Striking Mums