I often wonder who I am. If this is it or if there's something more.
If I'll always be scared by silly things.
Will I always care what people think? Does that get less with age? In which case, hurry up 30...
I have no idea what I'm doing.
No real aims..
Maybe a few..I know I want to be happy. I mean I am happy but I could be happier..
I kind of want freedom. To float through life.
Then I don't. I want to be like others. I want to work under someone else, have the safety of someone above telling me what to do. Somebody paying my wage and I come and go everyday as and when I have to.
Other days I'm glad I don't have that right now. Sometimes it's hard and too much for my head.
I'm still trapped a little.
By social anxiety.
By the fear of blushing.
By anxiety full stop. Any kind.
I keep telling myself I could be other things. But I can't really. I don't have that ambition. That drive or motivation.
I feel like I let my kids down. I always tell them to 'be themselves.'
Although to be fair, I'm not sure who myself is.
I can't be this can I? Scared. Irrational. Anxious. Disorganised. Sad. Snappy. Constantly overthinking. Trapped.
I know I have good and so with that I suppose you need the bad too?
I am kind. I am loyal to those who I befriend. I am an introvert but I also open up and enjoy socialising with a small handful of friends.
God I can hear 'get over yourself' already and I know whose voice it is. (It isn't mine)
Although I do tell myself to be quiet, to be kind to myself and to be thankful.
Who am I? Who are you? Really.
How do you begin to even find out?