Friday, 7 March 2014

The Prompt: Reflection

I haven't joined in with Sara's link up for some time, I just don't seem to be able to use my brain effectively at the moment! This weeks prompt was great because I could draw from recent experiences.

Reflection

I've been thinking a lot about my personal journey with anxiety recently and how far I've come, how much I've changed. I used to not be able to pick up a telephone, pay for my own items at a check out. I certainly would not have gone out and met people, attended toddler groups and other various challenging situations.

I've noticed just how different I am now and that I really need to let go of a lot of fears and worries I hold close. Fears of being mocked and stared at whenever I open my mouth for example! It was proved to me just last week at my Mamas Retreat that I can speak in front of people and I won't be laughed at, not taken seriously and mocked. Why I hold onto these thoughts I will never know. Proof perhaps that bullying is an incredibly powerful act to inflict on someone because it stays with you for a long time, years in my case, and if I don't continue to fight my own insecurities; for life. Powerful stuff.

It was even revealed to me as I spoke in front of 11 other women that I don't even blush! What!? My face twitches and feels as though it's on fire. How the heck can I not be blushing? But I believe these women, especially several who are now wonderful friends. They wouldn't lie to me. I only refused to believe my husband because he loves me, he would say anything to make me feel better.

I'm not sure where I go from here. Without seeing myself not blush it's hard to believe it's not happening. Can I really convince myself!? If I can, my life and myself will be so different I'm sure of it.

So there's me rambling and reflecting on me and last week. Do you have any experience of this? I'd love to hear from you!



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