Friday, 8 November 2013

Toddlers Don't 'Do' Sleep

Oh how silly of me to think otherwise! This week and a half just gone has seen me just functioning. Just being. It's a horrible feeling. I've had some lovely days don't get me wrong. I've spent quality time with my Dad on two occasions and I enjoy his being here. I've had Little A climb into my bed in the morning for his nap whilst I was having a lay in and that is lovely (because he's actually sleeping for a start!)

Otherwise I haven't taken much enjoyment in anything else. I don't particularly want to go out and I've had to force myself on the the occasions I had to go out for the school run and I felt particularly anxious. I can only assume this is down to the tiredness making it more difficult than usual for me to keep things in check and keep calm. I just want to get my child and go which is why Jay has been doing most of the school runs this week as one child is fine but 4 is too much for me this week when it's cold and drizzly and when together they walk so slow. I usually take this opportunity to really talk to them all (after all, I am mother to one and auntie to three of them) so I like to hear about their days, particularly my eldest nephew who has this love of books I had at his age. I'm so proud of him and it's nice to see him clutching a book every time I pick him up. He loves telling me about the story. I'm just too tired to concentrate on anything. Perhaps too selfish at the moment too. Tiredness really does make you feel low doesn't it?

I don't know why my toddler won't sleep. I've thought of bad dreams to night terrors to waking up and just not wanting to stay in bed so he head bangs and tantrums which is so loud I can't leave him because of the neighbours. I shouldn't care but I do, a screaming toddler at 1 am is not a pleasant sound and I'd hate to think we're making someone else's sleep a misery too. I asked my neighbour today if he can hear him and he seemed awkward before admitting that yes, he can but he's been there too. But because A isn't teething he doesn't understand what all the noise is about. Me and you both. Me and you both. It doesn't matter that he's nice about it, it doesn't make me feel better because i know now that he can hear him at midnight, at 1am, at 4am and so on!

So, do I just carry on what I'm doing? Taking him to my bed still crying in the early hours then sleeping before waking around 4am to get up? I lose my days because I put him back to bed and go back myself! It won't last forever but I don't know how to get to back to sleeping well without him crying and screaming which is horrendous. There is no control crying with A it's just constant and me going in and out makes him worse when he realises I'm not picking him up.

I just want my enthusiasm for blogging, baking, letter writing and people to come back. I want to be a better wife and a decent mother to my daughter who probably feels I don't want to do much with her when this isn't the case. How do you cope with tiredness and children with poor sleep? Any advice to share?

Cupcake Mumma

8 comments:

  1. I have always struggled with the exhaustion that I think is part of the parenting deal. Also I have never being the saintly mum that can do bed, bath, book routine with a aplomb. I have tried most things.
    My children don't like to sleep until they are worn out - have always been that way. I have two that are identified as gifted and I do wonder if intelligence plays a part and that they just can't switch their brains off easily or whatever.
    I also empathise on the sheer strength of will it sometimes takes to handle the school run and wonder most days why I hate it most of the time.
    As you say, this too will pass. All the best - always at the end of a tweet.

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    1. Thanks Kate for being so kind as to read and comment. Also for the friendly twitter offer, i'm sure i'll take you up that. It's a phase i wish would end soon and not come back, it always comes back! I like to think perhaps they are giftyed lol explains why they never shut off! x

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  2. if cosleeping/bed sharing works then carry on ...go to bed with them then sneak out after an hour, set an alarm on your phone. It DOES get easier, tiredness is part of it, completely normal. Power naps for yourself need to be short about 20 minutes in the daytime else you get into deeper sleep and get sleep drunk. Time outdoors for your toddler every day helps encourage sleep.

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    1. Thank-you Sarah. You are right, if it works why fight it and make things worse hey? I will also try the setting alarm idea because you're right again, i am making myself more tired by having full on sleep to catch up x

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  3. Oh no, I have been struggling also the last 2 weeks as Sam keeps waking in the night screaming for no apparent reason. A friend of mine had a big problem with her 2 year old waking and crying loads, recently she just went cold turkey, and didn't go into her room, and although she still wakes she doesn't cry half as much. I am sorry I don't have any other tips and sorry that doesn't help with the neighbours either! Take care and I hope you get some more sleep tonight xx

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    1. Sorry you're finding things tough too Danielle. I really can't leave him. I used to be able to but now he's tooloud and gets too distressed it's just not great is it? Hope you find a solution too or else it's a phase that passes for both of us! xx

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  4. I've got 3, all if whom went to sleep well from an early age but just couldn't do all night. Do what works for you as a family and if that means having them with you so you sleep that is fine, it won't be forever. Good luck x

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  5. I co-slept with my two eldest boys until they were 5. We put a single bed in our room and they slept all night. It was the only thing that worked for us. I'm a total nightmare on lack of sleep so co-sleeping meant I was a fully functioning mama during the day. People would tell me I was doing it all wrong and that the boys should be made to sleep in their own beds. But why? As long as we all slept, then what did it matter xxx

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