Thursday, 17 May 2012

Day 17- My Proudest Moment


I'm going to take a slightly different approach to this prompt because even though I am of course very proud of myself for bringing my two babies into this world with the help of my Mother, Other Half and a birthing pool, I am more proud of the fact that i overcame my post natal depression and that I continue to fight my anxiety.

With help from my partner I overcame my post natal depression but sadly it wasn't until Little Miss was just over 1 year of age that I began to feel 'normal' and connected with her, something no mother should have to feel with their own child,

With my anxiety I suffered alone for years. I grew up with social anxiety and would skip any lesson that involved standing up and speaking in front of the class. I was bullied, laughed at, whispered about and generally made to feel useless and pathetic. This started in primary school and would see my through to my final year of secondary.

It wasn't until I had my son in 2011 that I plucked up the courage to speak openly to my new GP about what I had been going through at that time and everything before. I soon found myself having a chat with a lovely lady from the surgery who recommended some CBT (Cognitive Behavioural Therapy) and this began to change my life.

Social Anxiety is no longer a huge problem in my life and for that i feel a huge sense of relief. I feel that in the future I'll be able to feel calm and confident about such things as interviews for jobs and parents evenings, even talking on the phone feels like a much easier job these days.

My General Anxiety is still something I fight against. I'm still on medication to help me as if I don't take them I find that my mind goes into overdrive and I just won't leave the house. I have periods where I want to stay in all day but knowing I have to do things in order to not let my anxiety win keeps me going. I'll still get a bit anxious about meeting certain people which can lead to panic attacks and worrying about not having enough change to pay for something is enough to push me over the edge- although having said that, I was 85p short today but instead of freaking out I calmly and confidently asked if i could have something taken off...I didn't really need those chocolate bars after all! I didn't blush, I didn't feel awkward, just apologised, paid and moved on...Oh and felt proud of myself!

Cupcake Mumma

6 comments:

  1. Thanks for sharing this - glad you have found help - I had PND with my 3rd kid.

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    1. It hard huh? Thank you and hope you are well x

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  2. Great post, I think I need to pluck up the courage to go and talk to someone about my anxiety, I always feel silly about it but I know I should at least get some advice. x

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    1. Goodluck, it really is worth it if you ever need a chat :) xx

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  3. Well done!! I have the same problems but realised yesterday, for the first time, things aren't so bad anymore. It is tough and I'm sure anxiety makes the pnd worse somehow. I have the same fear with paying for things. That is the first thing I remember ever panicking about! Am so pleased you're through the worst too :) x I'll be your newest follower

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    1. Thank you Kat for your comment and thank you for being a new follow im so pleased! I read your blog and feel that you really understand which is lovely. I hope you're also doing well xx

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