Wednesday, 9 April 2014

Tantrums and....More Tantrums Actually.

Every child tantrums. (Well, nearly every child) I just think my son is a little over the top when it comes to tantrums. He headbangs, lashes out with his feet, kicking me when I struggle to pick him up and remove him from the situation. He slaps his own face or head and screams blue murder. I'm sure a lot of children do this to be honest, I'm just not lucky enough to witness any more than the screaming toddler in the supermarket.

Thing is, it's wearing me down. I'm doing all I can. Ignoring, removing him from situations, trying to see possible problems before they even happen so I'm on the ball. It's not just these standard tantrums that get me down with A. It's the way he doesn't share toys, for example. Today a small child went to play with the same car garage he was playing with. Little A gave the child a slight push which made me feel mortified! The grandparent was there which was good for the boy, but she told A off too. I was too upset that this lady now thinks my child is nasty and spiteful to react to her. I told A off, I apologised to her but this is it. All the time I am waiting for what A does next.

Which shop will he be pulled from today when he kicks off because I said "no"?

Can I go to my coffee shop with A
without having to leave with him screaming because he's not happy about leaving their toys behind?

Will he hit a child, push a child at any playgroups we attend? Will he get me, his Mum who suffers with social anxiety, into a confrontation with another parent because he's reacted badly. Because he won't share?

I don't care that tantrums are normal.

I don't care that this is just a phase.

I just care about 3 1/2 year old Little A. About 4 year old Little A. About my anxiety being pushed to breaking point with each morning I wake deciding if I brave outside with my toddler today or if I'm not strong enough for the tutting and the stares.

I just want it all to stop. I just want my friendly, happy Little A to be what everyone else sees, not just me and my family.

Cupcake Mumma

Thursday, 3 April 2014

Reasons to be Cheerful

I've not joined in with this link up for a while but this week I feel like I need to try to grab some positives from my week. Things are tough mood wise at the moment. I'm up and down like a yoyo. Hubby has changed shifts so I'm getting used to having a tantruming Little A on my own as well as trying to do school things and pursue play groups to help A with his development. I feel a lot of pressure and am quite isolated at the moment. I feel I have little to look forward to. Still, we must look for those positives.

1) Monday was not a bad day. I had Midge off school who helped me do some shopping which was very helpful. I also managed to clean up and cook a roast. Just a shame about the whining and bickering in between!

2) I watched Midge do her Easter bonnet parade today which was nice. I also saw my niece and nephew too and they were happy enough bouncing around the stage, showing off as usual! We also made an Easter tree at an after school club. I've always wanted one and now I have one this year. I'm wondering if I can keep it alive and well for other occasions too!

3) I've made contact with an old school friend. We have not seen each other since my wedding which will be 2 years this August! I know we'll pick up where we left off (I hope so!) and I'm keeping my fingers crossed we get to meet up next weekend for a date night of sorts.

It was also nice seeing my Mum on Tuesday, I felt like I had a nice afternoon and evening with her. My sister is back this Saturday from university which is great. I'll be happy when she arrives safely back in Cornwall.

What are your Reasons to be Cheerful this week?

Ojos World

Cupcake Mumma

Tuesday, 1 April 2014

Proud Mummy Moment: Midges Year 1 Parents Evening

This is rather delayed 'Proud Mummy Moment' which I won't apologise for! 

 Midge walked into school one morning last week to see her name on the 'Star of the Day' board. She came bounding up to me and showed me the star, I was so pleased I took a photo of it to show Jay (and show it off on social media naturally!)

After school we had Midges Year 1 patents evening. They're usually fairly predictable these evenings because the school work so closely with us parents all through the different terms. I was so proud to hear the teacher say such wonderful things about my daughter. That she was kind, thoughtful, supported her friends and listened brilliantly.

Work wise, her writing has come on so, so much. Every night midge writes stories and draws pictures before she sleeps. Her reading is spot on after some slow progress and she has moved levels twice this year which has given her so much confidence. Maths is her biggest struggle but the school have recognised this and are helping her every way they can. She is in a good group of friends who find the work challenging too and they work together. While Midge is still enthusiastic about her maths, I'm keen to keep her learning so she doesn't turn to hate it and struggle with the subject throughout her school years like myself.

All the photos have come from her work books which were a pleasure to look through. I'll leave you with a very pleased Midge holding her Star of the Day card which went straight on the fridge as soon as she came in the door!

Cupcake Mumma

Monday, 31 March 2014

Truro Museum with Midge

I have not been to the museum for well over a year and the last time we went it was such a rush around job with the little ones not interested in the actual museum but the activity centers. Last week, Midge and I grabbed a train and headed to Truro for a mum and daughter day out.

I love history, adore it in fact. I'm useless with names and even worse with dates but I love seeing these objects from hundreds of years ago, I love learning facts and hearing stories. I love touching these statues and stones that are so, so old and we have no idea how many people now so long ago have laid their hands on the exact same objects. Amazing. Now I'm done getting my geek on, let me share with you our wonderful trip!

We started with a little shopping in the town center. I bought myself a new cook book and some earrings and Midge bought herself a new purse and some clip on earrings. I made her try on this hair band because I knew how sweet she'd look!

We then went to Truro Cathedral which takes my breath away no matter how many times I go in there. We walked around and saw a small art exhibition inside too. After our little tour we went to the shop where we bought some gorgeous non edible Easter eggs and some postcards for our collection.

Then the museum! I paid £5 to enter the Royal Cornwall Museum and now I have a whole year free entry! Children are free already so it's a really cheap day out. We checked out the feet of Cornwall's tallest man (The Cornish Giant) and a beautiful coach from the 1700's. Midge was keen to go upstairs because we were told there was a mummy up there.

I got half way around the 2nd floor before Midge got bored with my fact reading which was a shame but for a six year old she did well. There's only so many statues, cutlery and trinket boxes you can look at before you get the itch to move on, so I can't blame her! We found the next exhibition to be great for Midge though. Romans, Greeks and Egyptians.

Midge dressed up as a Greek girl and pretended she was a queen (very funny) and I showed her the Egyptian section with a lot of excitement! I showed her the sarcophagus and the jars which were used to store the organs of the dead (unused) Afterwards, I turned around to see the coffin and the real mummified body of an ancient Egyptian behind glass and nearly wet myself with excitement (I told you, history geek! You'll have to go the museum to see for yourself though!)

We then did some activities like having a go at mummification before moving downstairs where we looked at the animals of the ocean and nature on land. We looked at dead insects through microscopes and traced animal paw prints. We even saw a stuffed fox and hedgehog.

We had an ace time at the museum and we had so much fun together. Before heading back on the train we shared a large tray of chips and went for a stroll. It sort of felt like an early Mother's Day for me I suppose, which was lovely.

Some favourites: A more modern Virgin Mary/A beautiful carved box/A tea urn

Have you been on any days out recently or had any adventures of your own? Do let me know!

Cupcake Mumma

Monday, 24 March 2014

A Health Visit for Little A- Positive Steps

We haven't seen a Health Visitor since both our children were born. They were both happy and healthy and were signed off with the invite of drop ins at a local center. I went a couple of times to these sessions but hated them. We never saw a health visitor again..Until today.

Finally, after suffering alone and unsupported with Little A and his head banging, tantrums and poor sleep patterns we have a wonderful health visitor we can talk to and trust. Little A was asleep when she arrived so we spoke about him in general. She asked us what we are concerned with (how to handle his tantrums was my answer) and from there we spoke about his sleep being a bit odd, disrupted with phases. We spoke about his speech and how it wasn't what I thought it should be. I am right. He isn't where he should be but from observation, the health visitor was able to tell he had a lot of words there but lacked clarity or just couldn't quite get out what it is he wants to say.

So now? Well, Little A will be referred for hearing tests, where there's no concern in my opinion but an up to date test is necessary and will help with the second referral, his speech. There is currently a 6-8 week wait for speech referral. He could come through those weeks speaking perfectly and fluently in several languages, just to prove us otherwise, or he could not! It's a wait and see situation but either way there is no negitive.

It's been suggested to me that I look into a nursery place or some play sessions even so A can interact with children his own age as he doesn't really otherwise.His cousins are either older and in school or younger by a year and being split a part! So I'm up for that, he'd love a play session, he has a very active mind and being home lots isn't great for A.

It's been suggested I look into child led play which fortunately isn't completely alien to me! We've been told an hours break from the television a day can be beneficial because otherwise it's all just background noise which I totally agree with.

Finally the dummy...*big,long sigh* the thing we knew was going to be mentioned because we know it's a problem..the darn thing that has to be taken away from my son with no understanding why I'm all of a sudden taking it away because we can't communicate. As you can tell, I'm not relishing the prospect of taking this step but it has to happen.

Onwards and upward!

Cupcake Mumma

Dress Up

I love when the little ones dress up. Midge is forever in her drawers picking out dresses and capes, fake mobile phones and handbags with those cheap accessories to match. Little A isn't so into dress up, we bought him a buzz costume for his birthday (so did my sister in law) and he's loved having that one a couple of times, along with his sister who squeezes into the larger of the two costumes!

Bad photo quality- sorry! So cute seeing by two Buzz Lightyears together!

My nieces and nephew like to join in the dressing up fun too. On Thursday, Little T popped on some joke glasses. She looked hilarious, it cheered us up after a long day!

Do your little ones that to like dress up? Do you have any posts to share? Feel free to leave a link in the comments!

Cupcake Mumma

Sunday, 23 March 2014

My Week that was Captured #8

Hey, it's that time of the week again where we look back at all the things we got up to. I really need to snap more photos!

This week:

I visited the local library and found a book by my favourite author that I haven't read yet. I also found a craft book for the little ones. I visited the library after a huge cleaning spree (you wouldn't bloody know it now though!) I'm pleased my growing Care Bear collection is now safe in my bedroom!

I treated myself to a orange hot chocolate and found some mini bakewells suitable for my dairy and gluten free diet. I do love Costa.

I visited a charity store this week, only the one because I had my niece and she wasn't happy in her buggy on this occasion! I snapped up a book (again by Phillipa Gregory) and a gorgeous ornament of London. I love London but I've never been properly!!

On our weekly food shop I discovered some delicious sorbet and watched Little A enjoy his Thomas Ride. We had to buy crisps and a large yogurt on the way around because he decided he was so, incredibly hungry! Bless him.

On Friday, Midge had a non uniform day with a 'grow' theme so we dressed her up in some normal clothes and I painted a flower on her face. She loved it and Little A had his very first face paint too, a small sun on his cheek!

I painted my nails a beautiful purple and added a bit of sparkle. A nice bit of 'me' time.

My Mum came over on Saturday for the evening which was nice as Jason went out with a friend. My two looked out of the window waiting for Grandma to arrive and later on had snuggles watching Monsters Inc. How sweet.


Cupcake Mumma

Tuesday, 18 March 2014

Self Care and Why it is So Important

Question: What was the last thing you did for yourself and let it really matter?

I get to pop to the shops on my own every now and again but the knowledge of returning home to my 'jobs' often lingers in the back of my mind. This means I'm not focusing fully on myself and my time alone. It means, instead of thinking through other things whilst I sip my hot chocolate, I'm focusing on other people and not myself and my precious me time.
I may get to paint my nails in quiet but I find I never pick the right time and rush through what should be a more delicate and peaceful piece of me time for fear of getting interrupted.

Self care is so very important yet we as parents put our needs to the bottom of the pile and often forget to look after ourselves. To nourish ourselves physically and mentally. If we do not look after our own physical and mental health, our well being, if we continue to neglect ourselves and place ourselves to the bottom of the pile then we can become lost. We can become tired and frustrated and become heavy from the day to day lives we lead.

I'd like to share with you some ways I look after myself. I have always needed me time. I have always needed to be alone on occasions or to fulfill certain challenges and adventures either by myself or with friends. I have a husband who understands this and supports me. We recognise that we are not only parents but people too who have needs, wants and feelings that all need to be fulfilled in some way or another.

Self Care in my life:

Have you ever heard of 'morning pages'? Before my SoMum retreat I certainly had not. After a session of yoga and meditation we opened our note books and let the pen flow. Find a space and close your eyes, relax and breathe, even if it's just for 5 minutes. After that time, open a notepad and write. Don't think anything in particular, just write. You can keep your written word or simply throw it away.
I also write a personal journal for my thoughts which I keep private and a prayer journal which is self explanatory. I like to think of others in my quiet time but I do not think of their problems too much, just write a simple prayer or note and leave the rest to those above.

Indulge without Guilt
I hate guilt. Really hate it. So I make a point to banish it from my moments of me time. I am a Mother, daughter, wife, friend and I share my love and time with many people both physically and mentally. It can be exhausting, so to shut the door and say to myself 'For half an hour I am me and I will focus on me without guilt for not thinking of others in this time.'
Same goes for having that time away from your children. I miss my children when I'm away, of course I do but I am a more refreshed and happier mother when I return. Why should I feel guilty!? Also enjoy those moments of a good food treat. Don't fill your mind with talk of fatter thighs and greed. Enjoy, indulge- be guilt free!

Mind the Language
How many times in a day do you put yourself down? About your appearance, your weight, your choices, your 'mum fail' (a term I hate no matter how playful!) I'm frequently guilty of saying how I feel is 'stupid' 'silly' how I'm 'such an idiot'. I would not say these words to another person, so recently have made a point to not say them to myself. My feelings are as valid as the people I frequently talk to. My mistakes are not due to being stupid or an idiot- they are mistakes and we all make them.

Self care can be incredibly simple. It can also need lots of searching and can call for change to our habits (the above should be easy but yet we make it quite the opposite) I invite you to think about how you care for yourself and whether you could do more. If you can make improvements to your self care, how do you think this will change you and make you feel as a person?

Keep smiling wonderful people!

*I wrote this post inspired by Pippa and her work at Story of Mum. She is holding a wonderful Blogging Self Care Carnival that I hope you'd like to check out. I'd also like to take the time to mention a wonderful new kit that Story of Mum has released: The DIY Mama's Retreat Kit! This kit is full of creative ideas, a lovely yoga session, tips on how to make various crafts and spread the love with your fellow Mothers and friends. Please do have a peek! I was lucky enough to go along to an actual  Mama's Retreat with Pippa and some other wonderful Mothers. It is so worth the effort to gather some friends, leave the children for an evening to rest, nourish and find that part of you again.

Monday, 17 March 2014

Cupcake Mumma's Mug Swap Time!! (UK Only)

If you've followed from the beginning then you'll know Cupcake Mumma hosts a yearly Mug Swap and now it's time for 2014's! I absolutely love mugs and have quite a growing collection in my cupboard. My children seem to be picking up on my love and my daughter in particular adores adding to her collection as well. (We'll need new cupboards soon!)

If you fancy joining in with my Mug Swap, then all I ask is that you are absolutely sure you can commit to the swap. There is nothing more disappointing than sending off a swap to someone and getting nothing in return, not even an e-mail. So please, please only sign up if you are sure you can send by the deadline (no ones going to mind a bit of give or take though!)

If you'd like to join the swap, please mail me: you can also leave me a comment with your e-mail address, which ever you prefer!

I'll be keeping the list of joining participants open until the 28th March, which means I will be able to spend the weekend partnering you all up before mailing you on March 31st with your swap partner's details! Unlike previous years, I will simply pair everyone up with just their name and e-mail address, you can then exchange likes/dislikes and addresses (It's hard work hosting a swap!)

Swaps should be made by 25th April (a nice after Easter gift) and feel free to add an extra something if you wish. As it's a mug swap, the only requirement to the swap is that there is an actual mug somewhere in the parcel, any extras are entirely up to you! If you blog, I'd love to see your mug swaps and will be placing a link up on my blog when my own post goes live, so do join in. Please note, you do not have to be a blogger at all, this swap is open to everyone as long as I have a way of contacting you, swap away!

I really hope you'll all enjoy my swap and fingers crossed it'll be as successful as the previous 2 years!

Cupcake Mumma

My Week that was Captured!

I've not joined in My Week That Was Captured for a while and I miss reading my blog and not seeing what we've been up to lately! It's amazing how quick the weeks go by and how quickly I forget recent goings on.

So, last week:

After my Sleep-out with Kat, I came back to Cornwall with her and her boys which was lovely. On Monday she left for home which was a bit sad but we'll see each other in June for a bloggers meet up in Exeter: woo! After we said goodbye I took Little A to Costa for some quality time and met up with my mum.

I've been cleaning a heck of a lot. I've lost count of the donated charity bags and junk filled black bags for the tip/bin! House is no where near where I'd like it!

I met a friend for half an hour and we went to a local beach for a chat. The cafe was closed so we took in the fresh air, caught up and took some lovely seaside photos instead.

I signed up for a South West blog meet. My first one!

Before our usual boring old food shop we bought some mid morning snacks from the bakery. Little A polished off a cake pop then stole his Dads large Cornish pasty on the bus!

To end the week, we watched Daddy play football (sadly due to an injury he didn't stay on that long but the match was good anyway) Midge stayed for chip butties at the club whilst I took A home (anxiety grr!) on Sunday we had a lovely family breakfast. I forgot my phone so no photos!

Do pop over to Hannah's blog for more fabulous captured weeks:

Cupcake Mumma