Yesterday I stood waiting at the nursery gate overhearing a mum being told her son had been pinched on his back by another child, that he was okay and both children said sorry to each other over whatever the incident was. "Oh God please don't be A" I thought. Then the nursery teacher smiled at me, called A out and I realised with a huge sigh of relief that it wasn't my son who had hurt a fellow classmate.
Then the head of the nursery asked to speak to us..turns out A had been involved in an incident that day, at playtime, with a reception child. He had slapped the child so hard he had left a mark. I was mortified. Gutted. They couldn't tell me exactly what had happened and they said A couldn't tell them. They said a teaching assistant only caught what looked like the older child running past A and then A slapped them. "Perhaps they accidentally knocked him?" They suggested.
That's enough with A. When he is so focused on something and someone snatches an item he is playing with, or knocks/hits him even by accident he will take it incredibly personally and will lash out.
I was surprised that the teacher I was speaking to was so confused as to why he couldn't tell them what had happened. Why she was confused that A didn't say sorry when prompted, instead repeating everything she was saying, including the apology. He is in speech therapy. He doesn't KNOW HOW TO COMMUNICATE. He will REPEAT EVERYTHING YOU SAY.
Today I want to keep him home. I am terrified of bumping into the parent of the child he hit. I am sure he will do it again, and I hate that I know this. He will be known as the nasty boy. The boy who you shouldn't hang around.
He is friendly, happy, curious. He just zones out and he still just can't talk to me or anyone else like the rest of his classmates can and it's breaking my heart. Yes I am taking this very hard. I am his Mother and as such it is assumed by other parents who may one day find out that A has hurt their child that I don't care, or that I don't teach him right from wrong. I am a GOOD Mother, I do not hit my children, I do not allow it in my house, I do not show violence or anger towards my Husband or anyone else.
But I am lost. I want him to talk. Everyone tells me I will have that one day and wish he'd shut up but I can tell you now, the day he leaves nursery and tells me about his fun like his friends do will be magic. And I will never wish for silence.
All I can do now is speak to his teachers, hope, implement some things both here and at nursery, read him books on not hitting. All I'm doing today is feeling scared and crying for myself and my boy for many different reasons.