Thursday, 13 April 2017

I Miss....

I know my ex hasn't departed this world forever, that we will co parent and remain friends as close as is possible for both us and the children. I am grateful for this. But a huge part of my world has been taken away, things have shifted in a huge way and a piece of me has been broken. Now my best friend, the person who knows me better than anyone in this whole world and who I could trust with anything has gone. He has broken my heart, I could never talk to him or trust him like I once could because he isn't my constant anymore; maybe on paper he is my husband but in all other sense he is not. 

I am finding positives to single life, I have to. There are things I miss. Part of me misses the soaking wet shower mat every time he had a shower. 

His snoring. Which sounds weird I know.

The big cuddly hugs

Playing with his beard

Telling someone I loved them. Now it's 'take care' whenever we end a phone call

Hearing about his day

Talking to another adult

Knowing I was safe.

One day someone else will have his gentle hugs, his ridiculously loud snores. I hope that one day I get to tell someone I love them, to not feel so alone. Sometimes it doesn't matter how many friends you have around you you feel like the loneliest person in the whole world. 

5 comments:

  1. It's funny the things that you miss once they aren't available anymore

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    1. Indeed. Sadly I don't think he'd miss anything at all x

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  2. I'm sorry to hear this and I can see how raw you must be feeling :( I know it sounds cliched but it will take time, sending positive and healing thoughts to you xx

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  3. :( must be so difficult, but hopefully in time things will become easier for you and further down the line you may find someone else to share your life with too. Sending love xxx

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