Wednesday, 14 August 2013

Tantrums are Tough

Little A is roughly 30 months old (I stopped counting a while ago, it's whole numbers from 2!) and we're in that very uncomfortable phase of the daily tantrum.
I hate tantrums. I hate how they turn my loving, cuddly little boy into a little, wailing monster. But they are something which pretty much every toddler will go through (yes, even your perfect blue eyed little baby who will 'never behave like that in public' ) will most likely have a good few tantrums when they reach the toddler years.

My son is one of those toddlers whose tantrums are hard to deal with. The crying and screaming go through me like nothing I've ever known, he thrashes around like his sister never did and worst of all he head bangs. This is something that occurs mostly at night when he's upset about being left for bedtime. We've come to know that whilst it looks bad, he isn't doing any permeant damage to himself. Since we've learnt to let him get on with the head banging, he has done it less and less and certainly not for as long. He will only stop completely when we move him from his cot bed to a proper bed, which isn't that far off now.

I don't believe anyone really knows how to 'deal' with temper tantrums. Children have little way to communicate and sometimes when something hasn't gone their way it can be hard for them to deal with their feelings. They are confused and angry, they can't talk it out or crank up the stereo like I know I do. So what do they do? They scream, cry, hit, thrash about or perhaps, like my little guy, they do all of the above!
This is a phase we as parents block out I believe. I know we did time out (as opposed to calling it the naughty step/corner) with Midge until I grew thicker skin and learned that letting her have her moment was the best thing. She wasn't half as erm... energetic as her brother is though!

What I'm saying is that most of us have been through the tantrum phase before. If you have, don't forget that. Offer up a smile to the parent in town whose little one is being less than angelic. You can be glad it's over (I know I will!) but don't forget it. There's little worse than feeling like you're doing all this wrong. That people are looking down on you and your child.

When it comes to temper tantrums they work themselves out. Being there for your little one after is the most important thing. We all go through it as parents, I believe it's another phase we just 'get on' with, there are no real tips or easy things to do (at least not all of the time)

If you have a pretty wild toddler when it comes to throwing a paddy, you are not alone!

Cupcakemumma

4 comments:

  1. Totally agree... I try to ignore the tantrum itself. They obviously need to get something off their chest even if its because 'mummy wont give me a biscuit' then once they've calmed down i'll ask if they want a cuddle. then the world is at peace once again. Huge hugs. you're doing an amazing job Honey. we are all in it together. xxx

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    1. It takes real strength to ignore these tantrums doesn't it? Must be very hard when Hugo has his bots and bar on? Hugs are great aren't they? Thank you for your comment hun, you are also doing a fantastic job xxx

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  2. I remember it so well, particularly with my eldest, who thankfully now is a well behaved little girl, but she had one hell of a strong will during her toddler years, which tested my patience to the bitter end! The fact was though, for sanity's sake we just had to let her ride it out, because the more we tried to calm her the worst it would be- even worse if she was tired!

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    1. Thanks for your comment Lorna, glad to hear from someone who has 'survived' the whole toddler tantrum phase ha! My eldest still puts on a good show if she so wishes to, although we're more into the attitude phase now at 5 more than anything else! x

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