Wednesday, 29 February 2012

Scavenger Hunt February


The lovely Kathy at Postcards from the P.P gave us another list for Scavenger Hunt for February so here are the snaps I managed to 'scavenge' and I look forward to March's list!

Music
I'll admit to cheating on this one straight off, this is an old photo but I honestly did not find a single thing for music!

Food
This is a quick snap shot I took when we went out to Paradise Park. I thought we'd save some money but putting some food together. Frugal family day out with entry vouchers too!

Love
I went out walking on a visit to see my Mum and came across these lovely crotchet hearts tied to the railings of the local Methodist Church. What a lovely idea for Valentines Day.

Cupid
My Loo Roll cupid. He tried to fly but fell into my wash bowl!

In The Sky
This is a very old building. It used to be a primary school before it got rebuilt up the road where my daughter now attends the nursery. I just thought it was such a beautiful day and I love this image.

Black and White
My beautiful new niece 

5
An old building by the railway station. There are lots of old bricked up windows on this old building so I had to narrow it down to five!

Leap Year
What a beautiful day for the last day of the month 

Train
Our usual train we wait for in the morning if we're a little early for school. This is the highlight of Little Miss's day.

Crowded
A day out in Truro, Cornwall on Saturday is always a busy one.

 Empty
I'm not surprised the harbor front was empty on the afternoon I had a wonder round- it was blooming freezing!

Heritage
On the first floor of the Royal Cornwall Museum there is loads of Cornish Heritage- all amazing fascinating.

Cupcake Mumma

Sunday, 26 February 2012

Do Something Yummy: Survival

I have been taking part in Nickie from I Am Typcast's Do Something Yummy posts for CLIC Sargent. I have really enjoyed these posts and quite sad the prompts have come to an end!
Week fours prompt is 'Survival'. You can either type up your own story of survival or do a creative post involving your children.

I have gone for the first one this week and although I have spoken about it before, I would like to share my story of Post Natal Depression in all its raw form.

I firmly believe I 'survived' PND. I got to a point where I was willing to give up on myself and surrender everything, even the most precious person in my life. I got to the point where I didn't want to be here any more. I had lost my inner strength, or so it felt for a short while. I don't think anyone really knew how I felt and to be honest I really didn't want anyone to know.

I was in a dark place. I would sit in the shower and cry for nearly an hour. I felt like a selfish, useless human being. I felt pathetic and worthless that I was a joke for being blessed as a mother. I had nothing to be that sad about. My partner had stayed with me despite us both being very young to have a child, I had a roof over my head, two to be precise with the going back and forth!

I wasn't happy though. I was deeply, deeply sad. I was terrified of my daughter. Spending any moment alone with her, even the thought of it would make me sick. I dreaded Other Half going back to college convinced I would never cope.
Nerves would rush through me when she cried or even stirred. I loved it when she slept. Not the motherly love where you look over them,listen to them breathing, want to take photos of them, want to just pick them up again but you know you can't. I didn't want my daughter to fall asleep on me. I wanted my bed to myself, my body to myself and I wanted to be alone.

I wanted my partner to leave me. I wanted him to say he couldn't do this anymore. To leave me with the shame and to live in this space but to be free of this burden. How awful to see your newborn as a burden..after all the pain I went through in birth, after the huge wave of love I felt when she was first placed in my arms I returned home and it all must've hit me. The pain, the discomfort, the fact that no one told me what any of this would be like.

Then came the visitors, my goodness did they come. It was lovely, but it was too much something I made sure I didn't do with my son.

I think the turning point came when one day I just handed my daughter over to Other Half and told him I couldn't do it any more. I went out for a walk, I was gone for a very long time just walking and crying. God I couldn't stop crying.
The next day my partner just stared at me when the health visitor came. I knew there was no more lying, no more running away from the truth. I was ill. I needed help. I filled in the form that the health visitor handed over and I filled it in honestly. I went to the GP appointment she booked for me. I would've never booked it myself.
I sat in the waiting room feeling numb. I didn't say a word to the doctor, just handed over my form. On the way out I picked up my prescription and so it began, I took the tablets for about 3 months before deciding I was better. I wasn't better I had just balanced some out of control hormones and tried to be more positive.

When it came to it I began to notice I wasn't feeling well again. I was going lower and lower but not one single person could tell. I stayed in all the time, I was lonely and I was living somewhere I didn't want to live desperately missing the countryside and my family. It was at this time that Other Half and I really had to fight to get through things. I would cry almost every night with my sleepless child and I felt there was nothing more to life.

I'm not sure where things got better.I never did go back on antidepressants and I never did see another health professional until after I had my son I really needed to get my anxiety and panic attacks under control. My relationship with my daughter looks normal on the outside but sometimes there is a faulty connection. We didn't properly bond until she was about one and a half, a bloody long time. Now we laugh and we joke, she loves me and I love her unconditionally but there are some heartbreaking moments when she feels not like the small child i brought into this world but more like a younger sibling. It's heartbreaking to write let alone think about or even feel. But it doesn't make me a bad mother, it doesn't make me a heartless,horrible person it highlights how badly I got before I got help.

I regret not getting help sooner. The support was just not there and I slipped through the net somewhere along the way before sinking into denial, then absolute fear. There must've been something there to be fear because I was so sure my daughter would be taken away if anyone found out how crazed my head had become. I would've done anything to spare her a life in care so I guess the love was there, it just got a bit lost.

Anyway I survived and so did my beautiful little girl who i love and cherish with my whole heart.

Please have a look at some of the amazing posts on this weeks prompt and be sure to share your stories.
Cupcake Mumma

Now i'm off to plan my little tea party with money going to this lovely campaign! x

Project 366 20th-26th Feb

February 20th 2012
51/366
Other Half blew up loads of balloons for Little Mans Birthday, so many I have to store them on the window seat!
 February 21st 2012
52/366
Very sweet pancakes. I don't miss out just because I cannot eat dairy or gluten & wheat no way!
February 22nd 2012
53/366
My daughter drew this. apparently it is Mummy in her wedding dress, Aww!

February 23rd 2012
54/366
I love this photo!

February 24th 2012
55/366
My girl hasn't half grown! And look at that face!

February 25th 2012
54/366
Snuff Box in Cornwall Museum. I'm rather taken with it- it's so pretty!

February 26th 2012
55/366


TheBoyandMe's 366 Linky

The A-Z of Things That Annoy Me:

I saw that Diary of a Mummy Misfit had written a post of the A-Z of things that annoy her. There were a few on her list that i could really agree with! After reading her post, I checked out NetMums where others have been sharing their thoughts as well.
So, inspired by Amanda I thought I'd do my own post too! Lots of people are being 'tagged' at the moment but I fancied trying my hand at this regardless!

A-  Answering back. When Little Miss does this my short fuse becomes close to blowing point. With someone else the fuse is longer, probably due to embarrassment if i loose my temper, bugs me nonetheless!

B- Buses. I hate buses. I'm always on there with either really smelly people or a load of teenagers who really don't have one brain cell between them to use up spare seats because they really don't want to sit next to a stranger so instead they'll just block the front so you can't move a buggy, you can't get in or out and heaven forbid should they use that brain cell for a disabled person!

C- Cold. Being cold annoys me but my gas dwindles too much these days so I've been told to get my water bottles and blankets out.

D- Dogs. I'm not a huge fan of dogs. I'm scared of dogs i don't know, most of them shed hair all over the place, I'm always on edge with the damn things. It's not just dogs, I find almost every animal lovely to look at, possibly even nice to be around for some time but untimely I'm fine without them. Yes Other Half brought a hamster into our home I do love him but he does smell, he does create mess and is a general Houdini act! I am rather taken with him though...

E- Entrances and Exits- GO IN AND OUT THE RIGHT WAY FOR CRYING OUT LOUD!

F- Fireplace. My fireplace to be exact. It's tiled, it's ugly and I have no inspiration for it. I can't get rid of it as I rent my home. Although one thing would help- the landlord getting the chimney blocked off, considering previous owners ruined it!

G- Gary Barlow. I think he's too big for his boots. I think he's annoying and I think he's not that attractive. Nuff said.

H- Harry from Mcfly. Poor bloke looks like an arsehole I used to know so i can't even look at him on screen without squirming and wanting to strangle him!

I- Intolerance's. I cant eat wheat, gluten or dairy. I'm used to it but sometimes it can be something that really bugs me. I must learn to make a danish pastry, I miss them after seeing a load lined up in the bakery! I should probably check out some pastry schools to see if they offer a class in gluten free baking.

J- Jokes annoy me. Usually because they go straight over my head. Nasty ones really get my goat. I can appreciate a good joke just make it simple. And no it's not because i'm blond...

K- Knitting. I desperately want to learn to knit but I just cannot do it. I'm not quite surrendering just yet but I don't think I'm meant to be a knitter. Perhaps crotchet?

L-Loose Women. After comments on there the other day about breast feeding being like a man getting his willy out in public I have completely tuned out. And no i'm not sorry.

M- Maths. Hate maths. Loath maths. It is much more than an annoyance. Half the things they teach you you don't even need unless you want a specific career!

N- Nits, now they are annoying and not to mention horrid things. I have been fortunate so far but I know once it starts it won't be the end for a very long time. I'll be really annoyed if I ever get them again...which is probably inevitable!

O- Optimists. No offence you can get pretty annoying. I used to be a mega pessimist but i'm not so bad anymore. I have this thing where if i'm positive it all goes tits up but if I have a little doubt I am usually pleasantly surprised and if not, then I am not so massively disappointed. What I really hate is people shoving their positive ways in my face. Sod off!

P- Perfecting things. It really, really bugs me that I have to most of the time spend so, so long on something to make it perfect. Usually I go over the top and ruin it. If i'm lucky I can go back and be happy but all too often i end up being totally annoyed with myself and my perfectionist ways!

Q- Queuing. I bloody hate queuing and more so when someone is dilly dallying around. However, I also hate holding up ques. I'm a very anxious person so when it comes to it I have to go slightly slower than most to prevent a panic attack! Sorry people!

R- Rudeness. Whether it be obvious rudeness like shouting something abusive out of a car window, swearing loudly in public-repeatedly-on purpose or slightly minor like not holding a door instead letting it bang into me or my buggy. I cant stand people who are rude.

S- Smoking. This isn't what you think. I'm actually with the people who oppose the smoking ban. I think its pathetic. I inhale more of that crap now than I ever did in a public building! A smoking area was fine for me, never had a problem if I'm honest, now smokers block up pavements outside pubs and you end up crossing the road to avoid it!

T- Technology. This is something most have a love hate relationship with. When it works great. When it doesn't it's one of the most annoying things in the world!

U- Unexpected visitors. They annoy me no end. I don't buy that 'We're here to see you not your home' crap because who walks in to someone else's home and really does not think 'Oh my look at the washing up that's rather a lot of dishes..' 'Best watch where I put me feet there are crumbs everywhere..' 'There's no mugs Hannah?' Well..I would have washed up and hoovered those crumbs but I didn't know you were coming did i? Thankfully i'm never so rude!

V- Vajezzels. I dont even think that is the right spelling. Little sparkly bits decorated above your Lady Garden? I don't think so. Sorry if you have one, are going to get one or just like them but I think they're tacky!

W- Waiting. I hate waiting for people. I mean does it really hurt to turn up on time? Genuine reasons are fine, I'm not a total ogre but come on..

X- No 'xxx' I feel very sad when I get a text or e-mail from a friend or family member with no kisses at the end! Yes that's pathetic but those little kisses make me feel loved!

Y- Yoyos. Cheap ones to be exact. I bought one the other week and it is pants. I may not be my 10 year old very cool yoyoer self but I know for a FACT I could still pull out some moves with a bit of practice. Only the yoyo I bought was pants and I was really miffed about that!

Z- Zzzzz and not getting enough of it!

Now I am going to tag someone because I'm curious to see what annoys others. I'm going to tag A Twenty Something Mum and Snoo and Me. xx

Cupcake Mumma

Sunday Funny!

Sometimes when Other Half calls me from work to let me know he has chosen to do more overtime until midnight I do this:


Yarp, he talks to my hamsters arse. Have it! 
*Cheeky grin*

Click the badge below to find some more #SunFun posts, I had a great laugh the other week and as i'm not that funny you may need another pick me up!
Cupcake Mumma
Sunday Funny!

Saturday, 25 February 2012

My Saturday: Family time and Museum fun

We all decided to have a family day out today. Both Other Half and myself don't feel that we spend enough quality time together as a family these days so what better way to rectify that than head out bright and early on a Saturday morning.

I wrote yesterday about living thrifty and being as cheap or budget conscious as possible these days and how sometimes, for me at least, it doesn't always feel good. At the end of this post I featured some photos of my most thrifty finds. I found that today, with my £30 pound budget in my purse for any shop finds, something to eat and bus fare, I kept this post in my head particularly my past finds and I started to feel good again. I remembered how I felt to come across a really good 'find'.

Anyway as usual I digress...We hopped on the bus (for once was cheaper than the train although hideously boring so I did wish now and then that I spent double amount on the train fare! Glad I did not though!) We eventually arrived and first set about something to eat. I used some spare change in my purse to pay for lunch. It was in a superstore and it was absolute pants. I'm sure all you pay for is the packaging these days huh?
Other Half wasn't happy- here he is in one of his rare immature moods scribbling 'rip off' all over the receipt. Oh dear.

After lunch we pushed on and got down to going in and out of a few shops. We went around the indoor market which is full of all sorts of stores. Other Half bored us rigged with his exchange stores after that we we visited a couple of charity shops before setting our sites on the local Museum. I had this on my Project Zero list and completed it a little while ago (here) but never got round to viewing upstairs. I loved it. Little Miss was a bit too hyped up to enjoy it, but she liked the art gallery and the children's section. Being 4 I can't expect her to fully appreciate the Ancient Egyptians or Cornish Heritage just yet can I?

We got home at half past six both children still wide awake, both parents slightly worse for wear! Other Half crashed out in bed same time as i settled Little Miss and has only just resurfaced (as I go to the pit.) I'll leave you with the photos of our day. Have a good Sunday,
Cupcake Mumma

All Aboard!

Other Half's foot isn't far off the Cornish Giants!

A bank note for 5 Guineas from the Cornish bank. 

Funnily enough these are toilet accessories and furniture from the Roman times.

Isn't this Snuff Box beautiful? It's dated C.1750-56

Japanese Samurai swords. Wow.

Little Miss having a go at a puzzle in the art gallery

The finished piece!

If you're ever down this way, please think of heading to Truro and visiting the Royal Cornwall Museum. It really is great! 


Now there's a face you don't wanna wake up to!


You know the drill, look at the pic, invent a caption and check out the rest!

Does Being Thrifty Always Make You Happy?

Recently things have been getting on top of me. Money things. Last year I didn't really feel it so much. I was loving bargains and thrifty finds but with the pinch of the pennies, watching what you're spending is becoming a right old bore!

Finding a bargain has to be justified. I used to find something in a charity shop and feel pleased as punch but now that has all changed. I just seem to have to justify everything to myself! Even at 50p! I know what people are thinking, 'but you're planning a wedding, you're going to feel the pennies pinching'. Not so my friend. Okay so there are bigger things like paying for the reception and our hotel suite that we are facing but truth be told there are so many gifted people in both sides of our family, and some very generous people too so our wedding is going to be a beautiful day made even more so by knowing that so many people have spent time, money, effort even all 3 to help us.

It's the other things that get to my budget much like everyone else. The South West has one of the highest water rates, I'm on one of the best gas and electricity boards but still find myself totally paranoid as those little digital numbers dwindle down. Then there's the checkout..anyone else slightly recoil upon waiting for the 'final total' to be read out?

I know I am most definitely not alone. I'm sure given the option we would all like a little more to play with. It's not that I'm broke. I am still better off than a lot of people out there. I don't have to imagine that because I know. For a start I'm not queueing up in need of food kindly being donated week in and week out by generous shoppers.

I just wish I could be happier with my thrifty finds again! I follow a lot of frugal bloggers who love what they do. Maybe it is that I haven't fully adapted to this way of living? Perhaps I'm still a little attached to the more frivolous lifestyle? I have bought some new things recently but these have been bought second hand, locally and on payment plan. The best way for new laptops and phones!

I think it's that in this society it seems almost insane to not spend money. There's always something to 'have'. I'm really not one for jumping on the gadget bandwaggon. I'm not saying I don't lust over an Iphone now and then but do i really want one? Not really. I can't think of anything worse than a Kindle, many people claim to read so much more but what is really the difference? A gadget on your lap or a book on your lap..no I'm sorry I'm not getting it! As long as I can text and have a fully functioning lappy I am a happy woman!

Anyway, I seem to have gone off on a tangent slightly. I'm going to leave you with some images of past finds, more in the hope of making me feel better than anything else. Go head and indulge lovely readers.
Cupcake Mumma
Here comes the justifying voice 'Why do you need a plush chicken for goodness sake Hannah? I mean what will it do!? Sit there, look pretty, not be lonely...she was only a pound! (and she wasn't lonely but don't tell OH)
£2 I'm sure a lot of people have these type of books in their house? £2 probably better spent considering I haven't really tried out much from this book! Oops..
These are immense. They hang in my bedroom and were from the charity shop. Justification: Art!
A quid for this beautiful dream catcher (brand new, handmade nobody else's nightmares coming free)  
Overlook the grumpy muffin and focus on the sleeping bag. £1.99 it's huge and does have a nice teddy design. That is a thrifty find where baby items are concerned.
Hello Kitty toy found, still boxed in the charity shop. We gave this to Little Miss for Christmas as it really was a great find. I think it cost £2.50. Think of me what you will.

Friday, 24 February 2012

Art I Heart

I love art. I studied art in school with a very passionate teacher which is the best kind of teacher there is. Not every teacher is passionate anymore about their chosen field, and I can't say I always blame them these days. But anyway, this was my time and this was my teacher in my art class and I thought he was wicked. Hell we all did!

I love sculptures, photography, I can appreciate paintings and drawings and of course they are art- some wonderful pieces out there as well. I also see certain types of graffiti as art, a controversial statement some may say. I don't believe it is always mindless vandalism.

Anyway, I received a postcard recently which i thought was fab. I joined a post crossing site (www.postcrossing.com) where you send and receive postcards all around the world, it's great and always puts a smile on my face. The postcard below is from a student in America, she got me to a T!

I'm linking this post up with Midlife Singlemum who has just taken the plunge with this new meme. 
Cupcake Mumma

Thursday, 23 February 2012

What do you know, it got better!

I'm linking this post up with Michelle over at Mummy From The Heart. I love this meme Reasons To Be Cheerful it always brings out the best from even the worst week. And I have had a rough week. It would appear I am not alone however and while I'd like everyone to be happier and having good weeks at least I can take some comfort in not being totally alone!
Anyway enough self pity, here are my Reasons To Be Cheerful:

1) Well, the week got better! I had a fair Monday, a crap Tuesday, an awful Wednesday but woke this morning with a bit more oomph to me. I have had a much better day, have a little more positive thinking creeping back again and have had a good Thursday.

2) I posted my cake request today for the wedding. I have totally simplified the cake and feel much better for it. I don't care if i get a piece or not anymore, I just want it to look gorgeous! If I was more confident I'd make it myself, as it is my Aunt has offered to pay to have it made for us which was lovely. Another thing off the list!

3) A close friend has given me 2 pieces of wonderful news in one month and I am so happy for her and her lovely little family. We're actually pen friends but I really hope one day we'll meet! Of course I'm slightly envious of her but in the most friendliest way possible!

4) I've been doing some DIY! I put curtain hooks up, I've put up photos and framed pictures in the children's room and I'm planning to get my hands on a drill this weekend! Well, I may as well Other Half has given up on doing his manly duties so I shall be the man AND woman of this house!

That's it from me, please have a good weekend whatever you do and check out the other entries on this blog hop.
Cupcake Mumma
Reasons to be Cheerful at Mummy from the Heart



5 Things that make me Happy

I'm joining in late this week with Kate's Listography because I've had a rubbish week so far and I'm not holding my breath for the rest of it. As you can see I have been very quiet on the blogging front lately, I work on the wise words 'If you have nothing nice (or positive) to say then don't say anything at all' I like to think I take this approach in real life so I shall extend it to virtual life as well!

Anyway here are the Top 5 things that make me happy.

1) My family. My 2 babies who drive me mad sometimes, make me cry occasionally but make laugh pretty much all the time are my precious little beans. My Other Half is an amazing Dad and a lovely man to have. I am very blessed I must admit.

2) Thrifty finds. Who doesn't love a bargain or a wonderful find in a charity store/boot sale? I love bragging about my finds a little bit too.

3) Internet. Blogging can make me happy but what makes me happier is seeing my follower totals going up. I am grateful for every new reader I get and that makes me happy. I also love mailing my friends who live too far away to see, playing a bit of Angry Birds on the laptop and of course a bit of Amazon shopping!

4) Getting Away. I like a little hotel break. We go onto Late Rooms and now and then (rarely now) we go off for one night for a cheap stay in a usually more expensive hotel. We do a spot of shopping (charity shops) and exploring towns we never get to explore. I like to have this time with other Half but having the children with me doesn't spoil things at all.

5) Doing something nice. I like being happy for other people. I like making things for other people. I love giving gifts, cards thinking of ways to make life easier for others. Nothing makes me happier than doing a good deed.


Tuesday, 21 February 2012

Gluten Free Pancakes!

If you're sick of Pancake Day posts, Facebook updates and Tweets then look away now because I am about to give you the delicious insight into the baking that Little Miss and I did tonight. Little Man has been poorly since last night picking up and going more downhill since lunchtime but that didn't stop me Oh no. Little Miss on her stool (making way too much mess), Little Man on my hip while I toss pancakes Super Mum? Nah, more like normal Mum!

We have all our ingredients ready to go!
'Mum, I do this egg you do that one'
My little chef!
Adding Mummy's' flour so she doesn't have to miss out on this yummy day
Having a good mix
Mummy's time to shine!
2 each *big smiles*
She does approve :)
   So there you have it, a nice evening spent cooking and eating pancakes much like many up and down the country. I think that tops a good first day back at school off nicely, don't you?

Cupcake Mumma