Thursday, 26 April 2012

The Pill and Teens

Today I have seen and heard many things but the most common theme is about teenage girls the age of 13 being allowed to obtain 'The Pill' from chemists without the knowledge of their parents. There are those who agree with this and there are those who oppose this move with very strong opinions on the subject.
Do i agree? Yes I do.


It's a well known fact these days that for whatever reason children are not staying children for long. I have no idea what makes a 13 year old want to have sex. I knew what sex was but was I interested in it? No, not until I was 16 and even then I wasn't emotionally ready. Many young girls become physically ready for sex around the age of 13 and some even younger. Are they emotionally ready? No I think not.

I do think it's a shame that young girls feel the need to approach professionals because they feel they cannot approach their parents. But with sex and parents comes total embarrassment doesn't it? I never spoke to my parents and why would i? I don't fully expect my children will either but I'd like to think they could (and would). I would never judge and like to think I'd be there to give the listening ear and best advice possible- what more is there I could do?

A lot of blame is put on parents and education. There are some parents who couldn't give two hoots what their children are doing and i would rather those children had someone to turn to, somewhere to obtain this pill safely and with a consultation than end up pregnant with an unwanted child or feeling their only option would be to turn to abortion which is a  decision not easily made for anyone and especially one no 13 year old could emotionally manage in my opinion.

The only thing that doesn't sit right with me is not knowing what medication my daughter is on. The pill is not a simple medication. There are some people who really should not take it and if your child doesn't know a family history of illnesses specified then this puts them at risk. And if you don't know about them obtaining the pill then surly you won't know about the arrangements they would have to make regularly to get the next packet, the blood pressure and weight checks? It's a long line of miss-communication between teens and parents which shouldn't be happening.

Ultimately though? I hope Little Miss wouldn't have sex until she was ready (over 16 please!). I do hope she has enough self respect, I do hope she doesn't feel the need to prove anything to anyone and I really do hope she learns to say 'No'.
I could talk to her until I was blue in the face about contraception. I could tell her my story of being a young Mum until the cows came home but she will do what she wants, after all I did.
 I was 17 when I fell pregnant, not as young as some of the girls in England now but young enough to stop college, young enough to loose friends and become a responsible grown up when really I should have been travelling, working, studying and having fun. I knew everything about sex and relationships but I was naive and, quite frankly, stupid. I'm not scared to admit that. There were no accidents, there was nothing to blame other than the immature mentality of a 17 year old.
No parental advice, no first class sex education system, no screaming dolls you can turn off (or stick   in a wardrobe for a quiet night!) will change how some of us make our decisions.


Go to NHS Choices homepage
Clicking this will take you to NHS Choices where you can read information about the pill.

7 comments:

  1. I really like the way you've expressed your views here and I think our views on this are very similar! Thanks for linking! X

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  2. "It's a long line of miss-communication [sic] between teens and parents which shouldn't be happening." -- Cupcake Mumma

    Kids and birth control. Ouch! Tough subject indeed. Forgive me if I avoid expressing my own opinion. Unlike you, I am a coward.

    That said, I write because your remarks above made me smile. I genuinely love reading your blog because it brings me back to when my wife and I were your age -- broke, scared, paying rent and raising our own two daughters. Like you, my wife and I became parents in our teens. Our two daughters have since grown up, graduated from university and are now married themselves. We will, God willing, become grandparents for the first time this summer. Maybe I should start my own blog? :)

    I'm rambling. Forgive me. I hope to be a fan of your blog for years to come, Hannah. It's actually fun watching you raise your kids. Although you are FAR from middle-aged, your post above reminded me of precisely when it first dawned on me that I was officially middle-aged -- or at least not as cool as I once thought I was. My youngest (now in grad school) was listening to a song by Buckcherry called Crazy Bitch. I always thought of myself as "the cool dad." I always thought of myself as a bit of a radical. In my teens and my early 20s, I often smoked weed and listened to the Stones. Growing up on the Jersy Shore, I probably had my fair share of drunken fist fights outside of the popular bars that Snooki now drinks in. I did my part to piss off my (then) young wife and my own lovely parents. That said, when I first heard Crazy Bitch, the first thought that entered my mind was, "Damn, the government has to do something about this; they can't let kids listen to this."

    As soon as I had that thought I immediately thought to myself, "Oh shit, I have become my Dad." :)

    I look forward, Hannah, to reading about your "Oh shit" moment.

    Again, it is fun watching you raise your kids. Keep writing, Hannah. Your fans can't wait for what you have to say next. :)

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    1. Thanks for your comment James! You don't half make me laugh! I have already looked in the mirror and had my 'i look just like my mother!!' moment so i look forward (and wonder) what my 'oh shit' moment will be!! I never thought about it until now!
      Thank you for being so kind with your words and thank you for sharing a part of your story it's always nice to know and learn from people who have been in a similar situation. I hope i can bring my children up just as well as you and your wife appear to have done :)

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  3. i wrote a really long comment then it disappeared! so annoyed. anyway i have mixed feelings about this. i agree that if i had a daughter then id want to know what meds she was on. my family health history has affected what contraception i can take and the health checkups i have. girls on the pill who are taking it correctly arnt going to end up with an unwanted pregnancy compared to those who are to afraid to discuss it with parents or have someone else to turn to. i was silly and lost my virginity at 14. partly down to peer pressure and not being strong enough to ignore that. i did care about him and we were together for 2 years and we just out grew each other. we are still friends. i was very lucky to have known a lovely lady who worked at the youth club i attended. she drove me to the family planning and i was put on the pill. she was worried id end up pregnant. my mum didnt know but eventually she found out. she was furious and i knew she wouldnt understand, she didnt talk to me about sex or relationships, even my periods. one day i skipped school, my tutor demanded to know where i was because she knew my covering letter was fake. her actual words were 'i promise i wont tell your mum' she did. i confided in her and she lied. (working in childcare since i know u never tell a child that u keep a promise because u have to report an issue to protect them). one day i was at the clinic a girl was in the waiting room with me, she went to the loo and later saw her crying. several months later i saw her, very pregnant, she smiled at me but i never saw her again. ill never forget that though

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    1. Thanks for your comment :) Im glad you agree with the medication problem, im lucky in that I don't have any family history that would cause problems but my daughter could still end up with problems and it would be horrible to find out she felt she couldn't come to me and getting ill as a result of not have a long, in depth chat and consultation with a gp.
      Im glad you're still friends with your ex, that doesn't sound like a bad story at all and im also glad that you found someone who could be there to support you. It's a shame your Mum didn't understand, mine would've been exactly the same but i was never brave enough to go on the pill anyway! Not until i had my second baby anyway!!
      I wonder what happened to that young girl? x

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  4. i dont know her name so i do wonder if she raised her baby or if he/she was adopted

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    1. That would've been a very hard decsion to make, but maybe she is a very happy mummy :)

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